Does my MP actually exist?

Because I live in inner London, my MP, Jim Dowd, is untouched by the second homes expenses storm. That's a pity. It might make him slightly interesting. I've just looked at his website to see if he has any comment to make. Nah. On the latest news page there's a generic labour story about what it's doing for the economy. Jim's contribution appears to have been to paste in the words "Bromley and Lewisham". The story isn't really news at all, is it, Jim? Maybe that's why there's no date on it. Let's look at the more general news.

Jim has shown his support for whales. Good for Jim. Again, no clue when this was. Second item: he's visited a day centre in Sydenham. Sometime. Moving down, he's angry with Boris Johnson for scrapping the Tramlink extension to Crystal Palace. He's so angry he says:

[Boris] shows that he has no leadership skills, but then again he is not a Londoner, and the people of South East London can only be truly grateful that he was around when the difficult decisions regarding the extension of the East London Line was made.

Not quite what you meant, Jim, but why bother proof-reading? I can't imagine anyone but me - suffering from early Sunday morning insomnia - ever reads this.

But, as before, not a clue as to when these things happened. Jim could have had a very busy day yesterday, or he could have done nothing for months.

OK, Jim may not have his fingers in the till, but he's still being paid an awful lot to turn up and vote as the party tells him. For all I know he may be a very good constituency member, solving constituents' problems brilliantly. But the evidence - on a site that he has total control over - is that he's doing nothing. Either that or he's the world's worst communicator.

And now I'm nearly crying with bitterness and contempt, as I've found a link to New article / blog entry / news. Imagine my anticipation as I clicked on it. Undated, again, here's the full entry:

I spent the morning with members of Perry Vale Safer Neighbourhood Team on a walk about in the ward.

Jim, no-one can be quite this useless. I think the kindest conclusion is that you don't actually exist. Sometime between 1997 and now, you just dwindled away. First, you stopped casting a shadow. Your voice went next. You became blurry around the edges, slightly transparent, and one day - pop! - you just disappeared.